Hello discerning consumers! In honor of March Madness and terrible, terrible marketing campaigns, I present you with the
Terrible Ad of March Madness!
The
TAOMM comes to us from Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I remember seeing this ad last year during the tournament, and it's reared its ugly head again this year. The ad features an NCAA-style tournament involving 16 dessert ingredients. You can view the ad here:
http://www.ncaa.com/perfectplay#reeses-final-four-ads-2.
As you can see, the ad gives a quick, stylized rundown of the bracket before pausing on the final showdown between Chocolate and Peanut Butter. You might think that the stylized cuts and fades are to make the ad look fast-paced and exciting. In reality, the ad glosses over the bracket to cover up the terrible seeding and subsequent tournament results that the NCAA (National Candy Athletic Association) put together.
I mean, who even picked the teams for this tournament? Since the ad is so "gritty" and "slick" and skips over basically the entire bracket, I made an easy to read version so you can see all the teams:
![reeses bracket commercial](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVrlmA4vS6nabvPaAkjNBQYxKI9paedbk96kbE3nlaMs1JnQ82fqmJ5mjqoSpWxaZ3grj3RLY03csmhRqXnLxvZX9dKFJ8paXRR46b-0JBO5dy4rwgRwrVGacmQLRAz3Fu3K7mybBn0tGp/s400/reeses-candy-bracket.jpg)
As a marketing genius, I become irate when I watch this ad. I can't even begin to communicate my problems with this ad in paragraph form, so here's a list:
- How in the hell did they determine the seeding in this bracket? I mean, Caramel's a #3 seed, and Peanut Butter's a #2, and somehow Almonds and Raisins get the top spots? The other nuts, Walnut and Pecan, are both #3 seeds. And we don't even know if Caramel won a game, but Raisins made it to the Final Four!?! (This Raisins thing really pisses me off - I will return to this later.)
- Most of the ingredients are basic elements of dessert: Chocolate, Vanilla, Mint, Cream, Raisins (seriously?), Coconut, etc. Then there's Cookies. Who the hell thought Cookies should be in the same list as these other ingredients? That's like asking which periodic element is best: carbon, silicon, oxygen, or the personal computer. Pretzel's really on thin ice, too.
- Cream?
- Why are only some nuts pluralized? This thing reads like a menu at a Chinese restaurant.
I could go on and on with this list, but my real problem is with Raisins. Raisins probably only got into this tournament in the first place because they play in the same shitty conference as black licorice, Chocolate Skittles and Werther's Originals.
Chocolate Skittles: The Youngstown State Men's Basketball of desserts
I already mentioned Raisins' terrible seeding, but it's beyond me how they even managed to get to the final four in this tournament. I mean, Raisins over Mint? The only person who would pick that in their office bracket is the annoying sweaty guy that everyone already hates.
![raisin mint comparison](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI3q0x1-0578dDLOrIr8P_ZAHW5IDcBFZOUTxirvP8Wmi3gg_HTOWSN9P7j_uCuzYO8GqRcSmxW05B3JD17JW7kajSTzLrJyTogqB337t2xs4jcHh2yOykIdf_TQj0-iJkNU2rDw8NMpxH/s400/raisin-mint-chart.jpg)
Bottom line is, no one really likes Raisins that much. I think Reese's wants us to believe that Raisins are the hot mid-major underdogs with hearts of gold. Give me a break.
I think a better explanation for this ad is that Reese's has some really lazy ad writers. Here's what probably went down in the marketing meeting for this steamer:
Ad exec 1: Hey I read in Douche Quarterly that basketball is popular in March. Let's slap together a bracket and have PB and Chocolate be the teams. [Draws a storyboard]
Ad exec 2: [Indiscernible grunting.] Yeah, yeah, good. Put foods in there.
Ad exec 1: Shit, it's almost lunch time. How do we wrap this one up?
Ad exec 2: Uhhh....How about "It's okay to choose both?"
Ad exec 1: Clutch bro! Lunch time! I'll totally rock-paper-scissors your for that last box of raisins!
Ad exec 2: [Excited grunting]
Come on Reese's, did you really think you could slip this one past the discerning consumers who read this blog? And speaking of our loyal readers, who did you have in your dessert brackets?