Starbucks Drive Thru Reader Challenge - Part 2

For last week's Terrible Ad of the Week, you may remember that I posted a picture of some terrible advertising from the Starbucks Drive Thru and challenged readers to point out the problems with it. Today, I am happy to report that I received 0 total responses from the challenge. Clearly, the Advertisements Explained server was not equipped to handle the overwhelming volume of responses from my legions of readers.

My IT support staff worked on the problem all weekend.

So, what exactly is wrong with the Starbucks advertising? Well, loyal readers, Starbucks thinks we are all idiots.

Apparently someone over in the Starbucks marketing department heard that "going green" was cool now, so they decided to put some signs up in the drive thru to let everyone know how hip and progressive they are. And to make sure that everyone knows how hip they are all the time, they mounted three incandescent light fixtures outside to light up the signs...and left them on during the day.

I had to adjust the shutter settings for this picture to account for all the extra light.

Really, Starbucks? You're "committed to minimizing our environmental footprint" but you can't remember to train your skilled baristas to turn off the outdoor lighting during the daytime? Or maybe you're more committed to making money and seeming cool than actually tackling environmental problems.

This "environmental" marketing is like the Sunchips Eco-bag fiasco all over again, except that instead of finding out that people are stupid through marketing trial and error, Starbucks just went ahead and assumed everyone was stupid from the get go. Don't stand for this, discerning consumers!

Of course, the most discerning of you will say, "But Dan, why were you in the Starbucks drive thru to begin with? Did you have a lapse in your normally infallible marketing judgement?" The answer? Market research. To combat terrible ads and marketing ploys, I have to get out there and tackle the worst offenders so you don't have to. With great power comes great responsibility.

I also like iced hazelnut lattes.

Starbucks Drive Thru (Reader Challenge!) - Terrible Ad of the Week / News and updates

Hello readers and discerning consumers! It's April 15 - did you pay your taxes today? If you did, you are clearly not a marketing genius like me.

Let me fill you in on a little secret: as a marketing genius, I have found that I acquire wealth faster by not paying my taxes. In fact, the quickest way to see a 10% - 20% increase in your wealth within one year is to not pay your taxes or make any contributions to social security. There are many ways to do this. You might hide your money in a mattress or deposit it in an off-shore account in the Caymans. Or, for a fraction of the cost of real currency, you could print your own fake money and send that to the IRS. Me? I prefer laundering my income through a certain "non-profit" internet blog. There are literally no rules in the economic jungle.
My personal finance model - for educational purposes only
Speaking of deadlines, there are only 15 more days left in April for you to submit an ad for the Terrible Reader Ad of the Month! (How's that for you, Jamfla?) Who will it be? What terrible ad will torture us this time? Why hasn't anyone submitted an ad since last month? You can submit your ads here, and you can check out last month's TRAOTM here. Don't miss your chance to be part of the greatest marketing blog of ALL TIME.*

At this point, many of you regular readers are probably saying "Wait, where in the hell is the Terrible Ad of the Week?" and "Why does Dan appear to be phoning it in this week?" Well, loyal readers, I'm phoning it in because I'm working on an extra special project for next week's entry. It's going to be revolutionary, so don't miss it.

But don't think that I'm going to leave you hanging without a terrible ad this week. In fact, I have a special challenge that will test your discerning consumer skills to the core. I now present you with the Advertisements Explained Terrible Ad of the Week Reader Challenge!

A couple weeks ago, I snapped this picture of some terrible marketing in the Starbucks Drive Thru:

Click on the picture to see the big version

Using the array of discerning consumer skills that you've no doubt developed as a reader of this blog, do the following:

1. Analyze this Starbucks advertising and find everything that is wrong with it.
2. Post your observations in the comments section below.
3. Wait attentively.

Later this week, I will return like Gandalf charging down the hill to Helm's Deep at dawn on the third day and post my own observations (or the answers, if you will) to this Starbucks marketing debacle. In the meantime, I will be working on the special project for next week.

Good luck readers!

* This claim is based on the fact that someone found my blog last week by Googling the terms "world's greatest marketing genius" - thank you, Google Analytics, for telling me what everyone already knows.