Pomegranate Juice - Terrible Ad of the Week

This week's terrible advertisement comes to us from POM Wonderful Pomegranate Juice. This ad has it all: mild nudity, a snake, religious imagery, pictures of the product, color effects, a deep-voiced announcer, and, most importantly, it doesn't make any sense. Here's the ad in case you haven't seen it:

Everyone knows that sex sells. The marketing secret here is that hyper-sexualized religious imagery really sells. (Write that in your notebook.) When you see sexy models in a beer ad, you want to go out, have some Bud Lights and be a cool party guy or girl. When you see the devil crawling on Eve in a POM ad, you want to pound a $7 bottle of pomegranate juice, rip off your clothes and condemn all of mankind to an eternity of sin. Which would you rather drink? Exactly.

The real problem with this ad isn't the imagery or the religious context. It's the claim they make at the end: "...has the juice of four whole pomegranates and is backed by modern science."

Really? The juice is backed by modern science? Wow, that's really something! Does that mean that the juice is a liquid and usually takes the shape of its container? Or maybe it contains anti-oxidants that help negate free radicals in the body? And, if this modern science thing is really a benefit of this product, then why did you just spend the previous 20 seconds marketing the juice based on the pomegranate's important role in a CREATIONIST STORY FROM THE BIBLE involving a people made from clay and bone and the devil disguised as a snake?

Whatever it means, it's a pretty meaningless claim. Consider the following chart:

As you can see above, POM Wonderful, Sunny Delight, and a rock are all "backed by modern science." Sunny Delight is terrible for you, and a rock isn't food. So what exactly are these POM people trying to tell us with this ad?

Maybe they were trying to focus on the "modern" part of "modern science." I guess when you consider the alternatives presented throughout history, modern science would be a decent selling point by comparison:

Still, I'm not impressed by this POM ad. I think a far more effective marketing claim would be that a product ISN'T backed by modern science. As in a miracle compound that violates the general principles of the time/space continuum, or a mythical nectar gifted to the POM Wonderful Corporation by the Norse god Odin.

Portal to Hell Pineapple Juice: Scientists have no f*cking clue!

Now that's something worth buying. Modern science and man's expulsion from the Garden of Eden? Please. Hopefully the marketers at POM Wonderful will take note and bring us some real mind-bending juice next time. Until then, don't let them dupe you with meaningless claims that try to sound science-y!